“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
What is the first word that comes to your mind when you hear the word DEPRESSION?
Often times people with depression are called out to be “attention seekers”. They are told they are being “dramatic”. Sometimes they are even being called pathetic, weak or cold. You will even hear them say: but that person is so young, how can they be going through depression?!
What is the first image you see when you hear the word DEPRESSION?
Do you see a female sitting in a fetal position, head down, arms around her knees?
Because That is what society has taught most of us, isn’t it?
Is the image you see black and white, is it grey, or is it blurry..?
Depression comes in many forms, in different colours. Yes, it’s not only women suffering from depression, men do too. Children… do too.
Depression doesn’t ask you how old you are. It doesn’t ask what gender you are. It doesn’t ask what race you are. It doesn’t ask what your religious beliefs are.
What is the first emotion you feel when you hear the word DEPRESSION?
Can you perhaps relate to any emotion when thinking of the word depression? Perhaps you have gone through depression and you know exactly what it feels like. Or maybe a loved one was diagnosed with depression, and you saw what it did to them..
Sometimes we think those diagnosed with depression, are walking around with the saddest faces, but sometimes that’s not always the case.
Sometimes those people with the biggest smiles, the happiest faces, are the ones fighting depression too.
People have become so used to putting on a mask, and no, I’m not referring to the face masks we’re wearing due to covid protocols, I am referring to the “mask” we put on when we don’t want others to “see” our true selves. Hiding our emotions, because we are so afraid of what others will say and think of us.
Afraid that we’ll be judged.
Afraid that we’ll be mocked.
Afraid that we’ll be told we’re not strong enough.
It’s February 2015. My 30th birthday is in June. I have it all planned in my head. I start putting it on paper. The guestlist, the menu, the theme, the caterer I’ll be using, the music playlist. The theme was black and white (smile). The guests were to wear black and white, and I’ll be wearing a red dress. It’s my special day, I have to look different. I see it so clearly in my mind. I start spreading the word, telling everyone to please save the date, I’ll send invitations out at a later stage.
I’m excited, because it’s my 30th birthday – I never had a birthday party ever since my 21st birthday bash.
3 weeks before the party, I cancel everything. I inform everyone I have decided not to have the party anymore, because my plans didn’t work out as I had hoped it would, “financially”. Well, that was a lie.. I didn’t have the energy to continue with the plans. I couldn’t. As much as I wanted to, I just couldn’t. As time drew closer, I experienced so much anxiety. I was afraid my plans would fail. I was afraid the party wouldn’t be what friends and family would expect.
Little did I know that anxiety and depression walk hand in hand with each other. Not many people know that. I never knew that.
The sleeplessness, the heart palpitations, the sweaty palms, the headaches, the overthinking and so much more.
People experience anxiety differently, the same way they experience depression differently.
We don’t always have the same signs and symptoms of depression and anxiety, but we can relate with each other. We can encourage one another. We can share our stories with each other and through that, we find hope, we learn that there’s a silver lining to every dark cloud. And through that, we learn we are never alone.
There are moments I felt like crawling into that dark hole, because that is all that made sense to me at that moment. I believed it was my safe space, in fact it was always the complete opposite.
From my personal experience, I have learned that the enemy always wanted to isolate me, he told me lies that I so easily believed.
I have learned that by reaching out to others, without having to go into detail, but by simply just asking someone to pray for me, already helped me. And with saying that, I would like to encourage anyone experiencing anxiety and depression, to just reach out to someone you trust.
We are not put on this earth to go through life alone.
We are not meant to go through life alone.
One day you will tell your story of how you’ve overcome what you are going through now and it will become part of someone’s survival guide.
Love it !! Thank you for sharing with us.