https://ilzeengelbrecht.com Personal Experiences; Life in General Thu, 29 Jun 2023 09:44:23 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/cropped-Ilzes-Blog-6-32x32.png https://ilzeengelbrecht.com 32 32 212231352 Embrace Your Unique Journey: Avoid The Comparison Trap https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/embrace-your-unique-journey-avoid-the-comparison-trap/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=embrace-your-unique-journey-avoid-the-comparison-trap https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/embrace-your-unique-journey-avoid-the-comparison-trap/#respond Thu, 29 Jun 2023 09:22:00 +0000 https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/?p=249 Would you agree that comparison has become all too common? We often find ourselves looking at others, their achievements, and their experiences, and inevitably comparing them to our own. However, it is essential to recognize that comparing our journey to someone else’s can be detrimental to our own happiness and growth. From the day I …

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Would you agree that comparison has become all too common? We often find ourselves looking at others, their achievements, and their experiences, and inevitably comparing them to our own. However, it is essential to recognize that comparing our journey to someone else’s can be detrimental to our own happiness and growth. From the day I realized I was blessed with the gift of discernment, I have come to understand the significance of genuine happiness and the need to avoid comparing our path with others. In this blog, we will explore why comparing journeys is pointless and how the power of discernment can help us celebrate our own unique path.

The Pitfalls of Comparison

Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison Is the Thief of Joy”. When we constantly compare ourselves to others, we rob ourselves of the happiness that comes from embracing our own journey. In today’s age of social media and constant access to others’ lives, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. However, it’s crucial to realize that what we see on social media or in fleeting moments of others’ lives is only a fraction of their reality. It’s a small snapshot that doesn’t reflect the full complexity of their journey.

Each of us has a distinct path, shaped by our experiences, choices, and circumstances. Comparing ourselves to others diminishes the value of our own journey. It’s important to acknowledge that we are all on different timelines and have our own strengths and weaknesses. What works for someone else may not necessarily work for us. We must focus on our individual growth and progress rather than constantly seeking validation through comparisons.

Developing The Gift of Discernment

Having the gift of discernment means being able to perceive and understand things in a deep and insightful way. In the context of genuine happiness, discernment allows us to recognize when others are genuinely happy for us. It helps us distinguish between sincere support and empty praise. When we develop our discernment, we can identify those who celebrate our achievements and milestones with authenticity. So, if you know me, but did not know this about me, now you do 🙂

Embracing The Journey, Not Just The Destination

Happiness should not be viewed as a destination to be reached, but rather as a journey to be embraced. When we focus solely on the end goals or compare our progress to others, we miss out on the joy of the present moment. It’s crucial to find contentment and fulfillment in the process, appreciating every step we take towards our goals. Remember, it’s not about how quickly we reach a destination, but rather about the growth, learning, and experiences we encounter along the way.

Comparing our journey to others is a futile exercise that steals our joy and hinders our personal growth. Instead, let’s embrace our unique journey, free ourselves from the comparison trap, and pray for the gift of discernment. Recognize that genuine happiness is not threatened by the success of others but can be celebrated alongside it. Remember, happiness is not a destination—it’s a journey that unfolds uniquely for each of us.

So, focus on your own path, trust your instincts, and find fulfillment in the process of self-discovery and growth.

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You don’t know what you have until you no longer have it https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/you-dont-know-what-you-have-until-you-no-longer-have-it/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=you-dont-know-what-you-have-until-you-no-longer-have-it https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/you-dont-know-what-you-have-until-you-no-longer-have-it/#comments Wed, 09 Nov 2022 02:50:26 +0000 https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/?p=241 In our household, my husband and I have an agreement on who does the school runs, who does the grocery shopping, who does the cooking, who assists the kids with school projects, etc. And this all changes from time to time, depending on the circumstances at that given time. So for years, when it came …

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In our household, my husband and I have an agreement on who does the school runs, who does the grocery shopping, who does the cooking, who assists the kids with school projects, etc. And this all changes from time to time, depending on the circumstances at that given time. So for years, when it came to shopping, we have decided that it’s best for my husband to do the grocery shopping, and I do the shopping of the personal hygiene and cleaning products. Then covid hit, and we were in lockdown level 5 and my husband had to work from home. I, on the other hand, had to continue going into the office, every day, with a special work permit. So needless to say, things in our household shifted. My husband now did the cooking on most days, because I sometimes got home late. He was the one to take our youngest daughter to school and also fetch her. But one thing remained the same: the shopping (LOL).

So in May 2022, my husband had to go away. My parents came to live with the kids and I, for safety reasons, and also because we had no means of transportation, as I had sold my car prior to that. Initially we thought it would only be 2-4 weeks, but it ended up being 3 months. We enjoyed and appreciated every single moment with my parents there with us, helping with school runs, run errands, etc. But what I enjoyed most, was the late night chats with them.

But let me be brutally honest right now. The first day I had to do the grocery shopping on my own, was so overwhelming for me. It’s like I had no clue what I had to buy, what was needed and what was not. And yes, you’re probably thinking, how can a mother not know these things? Well, it’s simple. I didn’t do the shopping for years, and for the last 2 years, I wasn’t even the one doing most of the cooking. And I wasn’t complaining. Can you imagine, coming home from work, the sweet aromas of a beautiful roasted chicken and veg greets you at the front door! I mean, come on! Who would want to go back to being the full time cook at home? It was also during these times where I have realised how my husband felt each time he got home after a long day of work and a nice plate of food awaits him. And yes, I admit I haven’t always told him how much I appreciate him cooking us nice dinners, but deep down in my heart, I felt loved.

I’ve always known my husband did a lot to help at home, but it was during those 3 months where I realised he actually did so much more than I initially thought he did; and I have to admit, I came to the realisation that I wasn’t always appreciative of what he did. I was struggling; although my parents were there to help. But not having my husband around, was not only hard for me, but for our girls as well. So yes, I can confirm the saying: You don’t know what you have until you no longer have it. It was weird because even though I didn’t want the time with my parents to end, I prayed that the time would just pass so my husband could return home, so things could return to “normal”, but little did I know that God was preparing us for the journey we’re on now.

So I guess what I’m trying to say to you, is to appreciate your husband/wife, no matter how hard it sometimes is. Yes, it’s hard sometimes to see and acknowledge what your husband/wife does in and around the house, because life happens and we take those things for granted. But we should always just take a step back and truly see and acknowledge what they do, let’s tell them we appreciate what they do, no matter how big or small it may seem. So we do not have to live a life filled with regret. This serves as a reminder to myself too..

And by this, I would like to publicly tell my husband of almost 14 years, I appreciate everything you do and what you did in the past, and I will always treasure those days where I came home to a delicious plate of food, and a clean kitchen. I will forever be grateful. And I’m not kidding when I say those 3 months without you sucked big time. I love you babe 🙂

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What blogging means to me https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/what-blogging-means-to-me/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=what-blogging-means-to-me https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/what-blogging-means-to-me/#comments Thu, 06 Oct 2022 03:19:25 +0000 https://ilzeengelbrecht.wordpress.com/?p=169 As a child I always enjoyed writing. Anything. I would copy paragraphs from magazines and just write it over on a piece of paper. For me writing essays in school, must have been the best part in school (besides hanging with my friends at break time, of course!) Now you know in exams, you need …

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As a child I always enjoyed writing. Anything. I would copy paragraphs from magazines and just write it over on a piece of paper. For me writing essays in school, must have been the best part in school (besides hanging with my friends at break time, of course!)

Now you know in exams, you need to choose 1 out of a few topics for your essay and this one time for Afrikaans, while reading through the topics, I got super excited when I saw the topic “EK WONDER” (In English it is “I WONDER”). The reason for my excitement was because my late best friend, Sementhe and I used to lay on my bed and we would just wonder about absolutely everything LOL! Like why the sky is blue, why the sun is yellow, why the grass is green, you know that type of stuff. And we would wonder who ever came up with the names of everything that exists, HAHA! I started writing my essay and I enjoyed every moment of it, I couldn’t put down my pen, needless to say, I received a 95% mark for my essay. I was super chuffed!

I always enjoyed writing poems and put it up my wall in my room. I enjoyed letting go of my emotions onto a piece of paper. I mean, it’s the same as talking to someone about what’s going on inside of you, without being questioned, without being judged, without having to explain anything. It would bring such relief to me, like it would literally just make me feel better, make me feel lighter…

So that’s where it stopped.. In high school. I never wrote again, I didn’t even keep a journal again until about a year ago. Where it all started again. I got myself a journal and I started writing, and oh boy, it’s almost like I released the little girl in me again! After months of journaling, I realised there are so many people out there afraid of speaking out, afraid of saying what they feel, afraid that if they did, that they would be judged, and because of that, I decided to write publicly, by starting to blog. I want people to know they’re not alone. I want people to be able to relate to what I’m writing about, because I’m not writing about the lives of others, I’m writing about MY life, about MY personal experiences; and so many of us go through the same things, without knowing.

Different people have different reasons why they blog. The reason I decided to blog, is because I want to touch the lives of others. I want people to be able to connect with what I’m writing, and therefore I’m trying to be as authentic as I can be about what I’m writing. From my personal experiences, the moment I can relate to someone’s story, I immediately feel better, in some way.

If I can touch the life of just one person through just one blog of mine, then my heart jumps with joy, and it motivates me to write more. Blogging just means so much to me at the moment, because it connects people, it connects people’s hearts, and that brings me so much joy and it makes me feel like I’m fulfilling my purpose in life.

We were not meant to do life on our own, we need people we can connect with, even if it’s just one person, even if it’s just for a moment.

xx Ilze xx

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SAFA Living Abroad https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/safa-living-abroad/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=safa-living-abroad https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/safa-living-abroad/#comments Wed, 05 Oct 2022 00:55:17 +0000 https://ilzeengelbrecht.wordpress.com/?p=145 When that first thought comes of wanting to live abroad, to leave your country, to leave your loved ones behind, it scares you. To be honest, it’s quite frightening, especially when there are children involved. Yes, it’s super exciting too, because it means you get to see and experience a different part of the world. …

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When that first thought comes of wanting to live abroad, to leave your country, to leave your loved ones behind, it scares you. To be honest, it’s quite frightening, especially when there are children involved.

Yes, it’s super exciting too, because it means you get to see and experience a different part of the world. In my case, I have never travelled overseas, so you can imagine what it’s like for me (and my husband). In fact, it was my first time flying too! But I’m happy and grateful I could share that experience with my husband and my two girls.

On our flight from Sydney, Australia to Wellington, New Zealand

Needless to say, we had an amazing experience on both airlines and almost 23 hours later we arrived at our destination, Wellington, New Zealand. As the plane landed, my husband and I looked at each other, and said: “We made it, we finally made it.” What an incredible moment it was.

So… people often think you leave your country because you’re running away.. Well, no we’re not running away, we’re just trying to provide better futures for our children, trying to give them the opportunities we were not fortunate to have when we were children. Trying to have them enjoy their childhood, like we did as kids (kind of).

My children never knew what it’s like to go to the shop by themselves, taking a bus or even a train by themselves, because in SA it is not safe to do so as a child, I mean it’s not even safe as an adult. My kids have never been on a train in SA, for obvious reasons. I do not have to elaborate on that.

I couldn’t wait to take them on a train ride in NZ. Goodness! What an amazing experience. The four of us going on a train ride, peacefully. And you know, for a moment I felt sad. Sad to think that in our home country, we could never do this. That we had to leave our beloved South Africa, just so our kids can experience LIFE, and not just experience it for one day, but every day we’ve been here.

I know it has only just been 10 weeks since we’ve been here. It’s still early days, but so far, it has been absolutely amazing. Every single person we meet go out of their way to make us feel at home. People will greet you as if they’ve known you for a while, and will start talking to you out of nowhere. That has made the settling in process so much easier for us.

I can finally take long walks on the beach and in the neighbourhood, without any form of fear. Yes, NZ is not crime free, but it sure is so much more safer than anywhere else in the world. I finally feel like I can breathe, I feel free, to put it simply.

The moment people hear my accent, they immediately ask me where I’m from, and with much excitement I say I’m from SA, just to get a response back: “Wow, that’s very dangerous there hey..” That breaks my heart, that that is the first thing they think of.. although true, one wants people to speak about your country positively. But it’s hard to do so, unfortunately.

I’ve come to a point where I told my husband I don’t want to tell people where I’m from anymore, because of this. Yeah, I know it’s silly, but at the moment I do not feel proud to say I’m from SA, because of all the negativity, the corruption, the hijacks, the murders, the kidnappings, the load shedding, the water shortages, and the list goes on and on and on….

I will always be South African, it’s in my blood, it’s in my DNA, it’s who I am, in Afrikaans one would say: “Dis my komvandaan.” And I will never deny it, but to say I’m a PROUD South African, has a complete different meaning.

I pray for South Africa every day, I pray for my family and friends still living in SA, especially when I read the news of what’s happening back home. When I see how angry everyone is because they have no water for days on end, load shedding and and and….. My heart goes out to you, but we shouldn’t stop praying for our beautiful country. Let’s pray that God works within the hearts of the leaders of SA. Let’s all stand in unity by praying for our country. I do believe with prayer, things will change, SA will change.

I don’t know what God’s plans are for us as a family just yet, but for the time being, I am enjoying the freedom I have, the freedom my children have in NZ. My husband is extremely happy in his new job, and we only have God to thank for all this.

The fact that we living in a house without burglar bars…

The fact that I can walk with my phone in my hand…

The fact that I can use public transport without any problems…

The fact that I don’t have to worry about being hijacked at a traffic light…

The fact that I can finally sleep peacefully at night…

It just hits differently. It’s something getting used to, and I am still trying to take everything in, because it’s things we’re not used to. We don’t know this type of lifestyle.

I’ve asked myself: “Is this what it feels like to finally live??”

I am embracing it all, one day at a time. And I will not stop thanking God for this opportunity He’s given us, because it’s only God who could open this door for us, nobody else.

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SPONTANEOUS THOUGHTS https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/spontaneous-thoughts/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=spontaneous-thoughts https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/spontaneous-thoughts/#comments Thu, 22 Sep 2022 23:05:30 +0000 https://ilzeengelbrecht.wordpress.com/?p=121 I know everyone can relate when I ask if you know what it’s like to think of someone you haven’t heard of in a very long time, like just a sudden thought of that person. It could be anyone you once had some interaction with, a school friend, a friend’s friend, someone from your childhood, …

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I know everyone can relate when I ask if you know what it’s like to think of someone you haven’t heard of in a very long time, like just a sudden thought of that person.

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It could be anyone you once had some interaction with, a school friend, a friend’s friend, someone from your childhood, anyone.

I get it a lot, and I never knew why I would think of someone so “randomly“.

It would happen so randomly while I’m busy preparing dinner, or doing house chores, then BOOM! I would think of someone I haven’t had any contact with in a long time. And then when it happened, I would ask myself, why am I thinking of this person, like so out of the blue, and I would just shrug it off and continue with whatever I was doing before.

I’m sure you can also relate when I say that when you hear something good or bad has happened to someone you’ve lost contact with, you will say, oh my gosh! I thought of that person just the other day!

So my question is…

Do you think it just happens randomly, coincidentally?

Well, let me tell you, nothing in life happens “coincidentally”, every single thing is carefully planned by our Creator.

That sudden, spontaneous thought, is not just that, it has been carefully planned by God, so that you can pray for that person. God laid that person on your heart, because that person needs prayer.

I learned this only a few years ago, after I started having a relationship with God, before then, I never knew anything about it. Whenever I have a spontaneous thought of someone, I will ask God, what He wants me to do besides praying for that person, and sometimes God tells me to actually reach out to that person.

It just so happened again yesterday. I woke up, thought of someone (this is someone I have regular contact with) and I knew I had to pray, but then God also told me to share a Word with them. I did that, and I kid you not, this person then told me that my message to them was just confirmation of what they are going through at the moment, and I immediately got goosebumps, knowing that if I had not been obedient to God, then that person would not get the confirmation they needed.

That to me was once again confirmation that those spontaneous thoughts, are not just spontaneous thoughts, but it’s God’s way of reminding us to pray for others.

I would really like to urge you, whoever you are, that when you have a spontaneous thought of someone, just go down on your knees and pray for that person, and when you have the urge to contact the person, then do so, don’t delay it.

We never know what others are going through, and we never know how much you reaching out means to the next person.

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A New Chapter https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/a-new-chapter/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=a-new-chapter https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/a-new-chapter/#respond Tue, 02 Aug 2022 04:18:51 +0000 https://ilzeengelbrecht.wordpress.com/?p=112 A new chapter in my life. Literally. And no, it’s not just a cliche. This is actually a new chapter, like, for real, and I cannot wait to start filling those blank pages with memorable moments. You know how you sometimes feel like starting over? How you wish you can just turn a new page? …

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A new chapter in my life.

Literally.

And no, it’s not just a cliche. This is actually a new chapter, like, for real, and I cannot wait to start filling those blank pages with memorable moments.

You know how you sometimes feel like starting over? How you wish you can just turn a new page? Sometimes we mean it, sometimes we don’t even take ourselves seriously. Sometimes we pray and ask God to help us, and then sometimes we just forget about it.

We have just immigrated to a beautiful country; and let me tell you, it’s been a long, tough journey. There were times my husband and I both felt like giving up, but then we’d just push through. What kept us going, was the fact that we have already put in so much, and the decision was ultimately to secure bright futures for both our girls.

Before our Visa was approved, I told my husband: “The day we set foot on that plane, is the day the reset button of our lives will be pushed.” The reason why I said that, is because we left absolutely everything behind. The four of us left with only five bags of luggage. All our furniture, everything we’ve gathered and bought over all these years of marriage, were left behind.

Finally after 4 years, our dream came true. After a whole lot of prayers, tears, anger, frustration, it finally happened. You have no idea how much I spoke with God, especially the last year. How many times I would just cry out to God, asking Him why is it not happening yet? And then waiting patiently (sometimes impatiently to be honest) to hear from Him. Sometimes it took months before hearing from God, but that’s only because I wasn’t listening attentively.

One day after praying and worshipping God and crying out to Him, I heard God tell me: “When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen.” I heard that the last 2 months before our Visa was approved. And I meditated on that Word.

Now that we are finally in our new country, I realize why everything only happened for us now. God has literally been working in the background, making sure that absolutely everything has been taken care of before we even arrived. God has been sending amazing people to cross our paths, and God continues to amaze me. Every. Single. Day.

One of the many things I’ve learned through it all, is to never compare yourself to others. They are on their own journey, and you are on your own journey. What worked for others, may not necessarily work for you, and that is where stepping out in faith comes in. Always trust in God and put all your faith in Him, and ask Him to always go before you.

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What is P-E-R-F-E-C-T-I-O-N https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/what-is-p-e-r-f-e-c-t-i-o-n/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=what-is-p-e-r-f-e-c-t-i-o-n https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/what-is-p-e-r-f-e-c-t-i-o-n/#respond Fri, 15 Jul 2022 20:05:00 +0000 https://ilzeengelbrecht.wordpress.com/?p=102 What do you perceive as PERFECTION?  Does perfection exist? Is there even such thing?  Some of you might answer yes, others might answer no. To be honest, I don’t think either of us know what perfection means, what it is to be perfect or do things perfectly; even though all of us strive to be perfect human beings. We strive to …

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What do you perceive as PERFECTION? 

Does perfection exist? Is there even such thing? 

Some of you might answer yes, others might answer no.

To be honest, I don’t think either of us know what perfection means, what it is to be perfect or do things perfectly; even though all of us strive to be perfect human beings. We strive to be perfect parents. We strive to be perfect wives, husbands, children. We strive to be perfect in our professional lives, at work, at school or in our personal capacity. 

Bottomline is: We strive to be better than we were yesterday. (Or so I would hope).

Are we even human if we don’t chase after perfection?

And again, the question comes: What is P E R F E C T I O N?

Is it the way you arrange your shoes? Colour by colour? 

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Is it the way you fold your towels after a long day of doing washing? Rolling it or folding it in nice squares, all the same size.

Or is it the way you make your first cup of coffee in the morning?

I guess what I’m trying to say is what is perfect in your eyes might not be perfect in my eyes. 

We all have our own perception of what PERFECTION is. 

When you purchase a new car, you think to yourself: this car is perfect!

When you purchase a pair of shoes that’s not only just pretty or stylish, but also comfortable, you think to yourself: these shoes are perfect!

When I gave birth to both my girls, and I laid my eyes on them the very first time, I thought to myself: She’s perfect, and her name fits perfectly.

Let me share some of my thoughts on a PERFECT day:

Waking in the morning, knowing we are healthy and we are spared another day. 

Getting ready for school and work, without a child screaming and shouting because their sibling is “looking at them”. 

When kids get home from school and they know what is expected of them, i.e. chores and homework, without having to beg them or remind them what they need to do.

Preparing dinner and having to sit down and enjoy the meal with my loved ones at exactly 6pm.

And then, having kids in bed by 8pm.

Obviously, there are so many other things that normally happen in between all that, house chores, washing, emails, grocery shopping, etc. The list goes on and on.

When things happen according to what I had planned, then I literally “label” it as PERFECT.

I am sure you do too. 

Yet, we don’t know what PERFECTION is. 

Is it the way the rainbow stretches out over a certain part of the city after it rains?

Is it the way the rays of the sun shines through the clouds on a cloudy day?

Is it the way the sky lights up at sunrise or sunset?

Is it the way the waves of the ocean crashes against the rocks?

Is it the way the flowers bloom in spring after heavy rain?

Is it the way ants walk together in a line, gathering food for the winter months?

Or is it perhaps the sound of rain after a long, hot summer’s day?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then you’ll know that perfection sure does exist; and by that we can conclude that our Maker is P E R F E C T. He is PERFECTION, for He created all that.

He created you, and you are perfectly created in His image. 

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Depression https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/depression/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=depression https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/depression/#comments Mon, 04 Jul 2022 05:42:05 +0000 https://ilzeengelbrecht.wordpress.com/?p=57 “Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow What is the first word that comes to your mind when you hear the word DEPRESSION? Often times people with depression are called out to be “attention seekers”. …

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“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

What is the first word that comes to your mind when you hear the word DEPRESSION?

Often times people with depression are called out to be “attention seekers”. They are told they are being “dramatic”. Sometimes they are even being called pathetic, weak or cold. You will even hear them say: but that person is so young, how can they be going through depression?!

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What is the first image you see when you hear the word DEPRESSION?

Do you see a female sitting in a fetal position, head down, arms around her knees?

Because That is what society has taught most of us, isn’t it?

Is the image you see black and white, is it grey, or is it blurry..?

Depression comes in many forms, in different colours. Yes, it’s not only women suffering from depression, men do too. Children… do too.

Depression doesn’t ask you how old you are. It doesn’t ask what gender you are. It doesn’t ask what race you are. It doesn’t ask what your religious beliefs are.

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What is the first emotion you feel when you hear the word DEPRESSION?

Can you perhaps relate to any emotion when thinking of the word depression? Perhaps you have gone through depression and you know exactly what it feels like. Or maybe a loved one was diagnosed with depression, and you saw what it did to them..

Sometimes we think those diagnosed with depression, are walking around with the saddest faces, but sometimes that’s not always the case. 

Sometimes those people with the biggest smiles, the happiest faces, are the ones fighting depression too. 

People have become so used to putting on a mask, and no, I’m not referring to the face masks we’re wearing due to covid protocols, I am referring to the “mask” we put on when we don’t want others to “see” our true selves. Hiding our emotions, because we are so afraid of what others will say and think of us. 

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Afraid that we’ll be judged. 

Afraid that we’ll be mocked. 

Afraid that we’ll be told we’re not strong enough.

It’s February 2015. My 30th birthday is in June. I have it all planned in my head. I start putting it on paper. The guestlist, the menu, the theme, the caterer I’ll be using, the music playlist. The theme was black and white (smile). The guests were to wear black and white, and I’ll be wearing a red dress. It’s my special day, I have to look different. I see it so clearly in my mind. I start spreading the word, telling everyone to please save the date, I’ll send invitations out at a later stage. 

Picture taken on my 30th birthday : 18 June 2015

I’m excited, because it’s my 30th birthday – I never had a birthday party ever since my 21st birthday bash. 

3 weeks before the party, I cancel everything. I inform everyone I have decided not to have the party anymore, because my plans didn’t work out as I had hoped it would, “financially”. Well, that was a lie.. I didn’t have the energy to continue with the plans. I couldn’t. As much as I wanted to, I just couldn’t. As time drew closer, I experienced so much anxiety. I was afraid my plans would fail. I was afraid the party wouldn’t be what friends and family would expect. 

Little did I know that anxiety and depression walk hand in hand with each other. Not many people know that. I never knew that. 

The sleeplessness, the heart palpitations, the sweaty palms, the headaches, the overthinking and so much more.

People experience anxiety differently, the same way they experience depression differently. 

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We don’t always have the same signs and symptoms of depression and anxiety, but we can relate with each other. We can encourage one another. We can share our stories with each other and through that, we find hope, we learn that there’s a silver lining to every dark cloud. And through that, we learn we are never alone.

There are moments I felt like crawling into that dark hole, because that is all that made sense to me at that moment. I believed it was my safe space, in fact it was always the complete opposite. 

From my personal experience, I have learned that the enemy always wanted to isolate me, he told me lies that I so easily believed. 

I have learned that by reaching out to others, without having to go into detail, but by simply just asking someone to pray for me, already helped me. And with saying that, I would like to encourage anyone experiencing anxiety and depression, to just reach out to someone you trust. 

We are not put on this earth to go through life alone.

We are not meant to go through life alone. 

One day you will tell your story of how you’ve overcome what you are going through now and it will become part of someone’s survival guide. 

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You are not alone. https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/you-are-not-alone/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=you-are-not-alone https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/you-are-not-alone/#respond Sat, 02 Jul 2022 07:34:14 +0000 https://ilzeengelbrecht.wordpress.com/?p=47 Your Heart is racing. Your Palms are sweaty. Your stomach is tied in a knot. Your mouth is dry. You feel confused. You feel overwhelmed. So much so, that your tears start to fall from your eyes. And The more you try to hide it, the more your tears are storming down your cheeks, no …

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Your Heart is racing. Your Palms are sweaty. Your stomach is tied in a knot. Your mouth is dry. You feel confused. You feel overwhelmed. So much so, that your tears start to fall from your eyes. And The more you try to hide it, the more your tears are storming down your cheeks, no matter how hard you try.

To the little girl waiting in line for her transport after school, I see you. I can see the worry in your eyes. I can see it in the way you are breathing. You hardly speak to your peers, because you feel you cannot take your eyes off the road, just in case you miss your transport. I want to tell you, you are not alone.

After asking her why she’s crying, she says she is worried her transport will not fetch her. I ask her why wouldn’t they fetch her and she says because she was at home for 2 days…

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Immediately I think to myself: a child this young, should never be worried about things like this. This is our responsibility as parents to make sure our children are children. It is our responsibility as parents, to make sure our children are free from worry. 

I tell her please go and tell your teacher to call your parents or your transport, just so this beautiful little girl can have some peace of mind, but she refuses. My heart breaks for this little girl, she is only 7 years old, and I cannot even go and give her a hug to comfort her. I’m a stranger to her. I want to tell her: you are not alone.

The next time I see her she waits in line at the gate. While I’m waiting on my daughter, I keep an eye on this girly. Again, her breathing increases and her eyes are all over the place. The driveway is crowded, parents are waiting on their kids. And this little girl starts crying again… She is trying to hide her tears, she doesn’t want anyone to see. 

I speak to one of the teachers and they assure me they will take it from there. 

Days go by and I cannot stop thinking about this beautiful girl. How her afternoon is filled with worry, with anxiety. I can only imagine what she must be going through when the new day starts and everything starts all over again. I wish I can just tell her: You are not alone.

Immediately I am reminded of how many of us go through this on a daily. How so many of us are filled with so much anxiety and fear. Every. Day. I am reminded of how many hide behind their smiles, because they do not want others to see they are worried, that they are afraid of what is to come. 

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This obviously also reminds me of my own fears and anxiety that I have to deal with. How I wish people would “see” me. “See” what I’m going through and just tell me: You are not alone. 

A few days after speaking to the teacher about this little girl, I see her again. Waiting in line for her transport. This time, her eyes are no longer all over the place. She stands there, calm, with a smile on her face. She talks to her peers. She even turns around for a bit, not watching the road, interacting with others. 

My heart is happy. I feel so relieved. I have peace in my heart, because I see she is happy. 

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The world would be a much better place if we could all look out for each other, all the time. No matter if we knew each other or not. 

Sometimes just hearing the words “You are not alone”, brings some form of comfort. It already makes you feel a teeny-weeny bit better. 

Remember, You Are Not Alone.

I would like to share the following with you:

“REMINDER:

You are stronger than your anxious, scary, intrusive thoughts. 

They will pass, they always do.

You are so brave for enduring them.”

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Be The Change. https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/be-the-change/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=be-the-change https://ilzeengelbrecht.com/be-the-change/#comments Fri, 01 Jul 2022 05:35:59 +0000 https://ilzeengelbrecht.wordpress.com/?p=83 Ever heard the saying: “Be the change you wish to see in the world” by Mahatma Gandhi? I’m pretty sure you have. This is such a powerful phrase; short, but it has so much impact, in my personal opinion. Just a simple example: I pass about 10 High School learners daily, not all at once.  1 …

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Ever heard the saying: “Be the change you wish to see in the world” by Mahatma Gandhi?

I’m pretty sure you have.

This is such a powerful phrase; short, but it has so much impact, in my personal opinion.

Just a simple example: I pass about 10 High School learners daily, not all at once.  1 of them always greets me with a smile. The other 9 just walk past me, without making eye contact. 

I always ask myself what happened to the days where school kids would greet grown-ups, whether they knew them or not? But then I also ask myself, why do I not greet them first? Why not BE THE CHANGE I WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD?

We as humans often complain about so many things in this world, about people. We do it more than we should, to be honest. 

I often tell my kids: STOP COMPLAINING! Without realizing that I am complaining about them complaining.. And so it continues..

It’s a vicious cycle, I kid you not. 

But.. Sometimes it’s hard to think of actually being the change. Because to be the change, means we need to do some soul searching, we need to dig deep into our own being and sometimes it takes time. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes the truth hurts and sometimes we live in denial, because of what we find deep inside and we push it aside for “later”.  It obviously depends on the situation we find ourselves in and where or how far we “dig”. 

We need to do work within ourselves first, before we can even begin to think of changing anything out there in the world. I mean, you can’t expect the world to be kind, if you never show kindness. It’s like sitting and waiting for an apple tree to grow, when you haven’t even planted an apple seed. Who are you kidding?

“Be the change you wish to see in the world” is actually a shortened quote. Let me share with you what Mahatma Gandhi actually said:

“We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.”

I would like to ask you to sit and think of at least one thing that you would like to change, whether in your personal or professional capacity. Can you be the change you wish to see in the world? Are you up for some soul searching, for some inner work to be done? 

I know for sure I will be doing some inner work. I will be trying my best to be the change I wish to see in this world. 

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