You don’t know what you have until you no longer have it

In our household, my husband and I have an agreement on who does the school runs, who does the grocery shopping, who does the cooking, who assists the kids with school projects, etc. And this all changes from time to time, depending on the circumstances at that given time. So for years, when it came to shopping, we have decided that it’s best for my husband to do the grocery shopping, and I do the shopping of the personal hygiene and cleaning products. Then covid hit, and we were in lockdown level 5 and my husband had to work from home. I, on the other hand, had to continue going into the office, every day, with a special work permit. So needless to say, things in our household shifted. My husband now did the cooking on most days, because I sometimes got home late. He was the one to take our youngest daughter to school and also fetch her. But one thing remained the same: the shopping (LOL).

So in May 2022, my husband had to go away. My parents came to live with the kids and I, for safety reasons, and also because we had no means of transportation, as I had sold my car prior to that. Initially we thought it would only be 2-4 weeks, but it ended up being 3 months. We enjoyed and appreciated every single moment with my parents there with us, helping with school runs, run errands, etc. But what I enjoyed most, was the late night chats with them.

But let me be brutally honest right now. The first day I had to do the grocery shopping on my own, was so overwhelming for me. It’s like I had no clue what I had to buy, what was needed and what was not. And yes, you’re probably thinking, how can a mother not know these things? Well, it’s simple. I didn’t do the shopping for years, and for the last 2 years, I wasn’t even the one doing most of the cooking. And I wasn’t complaining. Can you imagine, coming home from work, the sweet aromas of a beautiful roasted chicken and veg greets you at the front door! I mean, come on! Who would want to go back to being the full time cook at home? It was also during these times where I have realised how my husband felt each time he got home after a long day of work and a nice plate of food awaits him. And yes, I admit I haven’t always told him how much I appreciate him cooking us nice dinners, but deep down in my heart, I felt loved.

I’ve always known my husband did a lot to help at home, but it was during those 3 months where I realised he actually did so much more than I initially thought he did; and I have to admit, I came to the realisation that I wasn’t always appreciative of what he did. I was struggling; although my parents were there to help. But not having my husband around, was not only hard for me, but for our girls as well. So yes, I can confirm the saying: You don’t know what you have until you no longer have it. It was weird because even though I didn’t want the time with my parents to end, I prayed that the time would just pass so my husband could return home, so things could return to “normal”, but little did I know that God was preparing us for the journey we’re on now.

So I guess what I’m trying to say to you, is to appreciate your husband/wife, no matter how hard it sometimes is. Yes, it’s hard sometimes to see and acknowledge what your husband/wife does in and around the house, because life happens and we take those things for granted. But we should always just take a step back and truly see and acknowledge what they do, let’s tell them we appreciate what they do, no matter how big or small it may seem. So we do not have to live a life filled with regret. This serves as a reminder to myself too..

And by this, I would like to publicly tell my husband of almost 14 years, I appreciate everything you do and what you did in the past, and I will always treasure those days where I came home to a delicious plate of food, and a clean kitchen. I will forever be grateful. And I’m not kidding when I say those 3 months without you sucked big time. I love you babe 🙂